We are all aware and very thankful for the hard work firefighters and other first responders do everyday. With that being said, we will now proceed to get to what you clicked on this article for: a wild story uncovered by The Daily Beast involving a Texas fire captain and the trouble he got himself into when he was caught allegedly showing off his "fire pole". Stay with me, because there will be more jokes to follow.

"Sir, This Is A Chicken Express..."

Lauren Moyer
Lauren Moyer
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According to the report, back on June 8, 2021, an employee at a Chicken Express in Commerce, Texas, filed a police report stating that then-Plano, Texas Fire-Rescue Captain Aaron Deary exposed his genitals while “playing with himself” as he was ordering food in their drive-through. Here's how the scene was described by the complainant in an official affidavit:


 

"I reached to grab his card so he could pay for his order and I turned around to cash him out and I gave him back his card and he had his penis out...He was alone, didn’t speak, just looked at me. I gave him his card and food and he drove off. I told my manager about what he did and he had like a gold penis ring on his penis.”


 

Police records show that Deary was charged with indecent exposure the same day.

Going to Jail
petdcat
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It didn't help matters that copies of the receipts from the transaction at Chicken Express show Aaron Deary’s name as the cardholder so it was gonna be tough to deny that he wasn't there so a warrant was issued for his arrest on July 19, nearly a month later.

You Gotta Read His Explanation...

Close-up of a email address on a computer screen
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Before turning himself in, Dreary wrote an email explaining himself and well, I'll let you read his explanation for yourself.


“On June 8, 2021, I decided to go to the grocery store to get groceries...After getting my groceries to my pick-up I realized that I needed to urinate. So instead of going back into the store I unwisely decided to pee in an empty water bottle. I ended up spilling the water bottle full of pee all over my shorts and seat. So I took off my shorts and underwear because they were soaked.”


 

He went on to add that he wrapped himself in a towel and INSTEAD OF GOING HOME AND CHANGING HIS CLOTHES, he "continued" on with his day HALF-NAKED which included picking up some chicken. He made no mention of nor did he address the "penis ring" in his explanation so his bosses wasn't buying any of it.

He Was Suspended For 90 Days And Demoted

Firefighter Uniform and Boots on Firetruck
Metaphortography
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Despite the fact that he still faces possible criminal charges, on Sept. 10, Captain Dreary was suspended and voluntary demoted for 90 days, which he has already served and could return to work by Dec. 14.

Just want to remind you "exhibitionists" out there that unless someone ASKS to see your "ring", please keep it to yourself. Thanks.

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