We did a lot of dangerous things as kids.

A normal day for me and my friends might start with building a bicycle ramp and then everyone laying down in front of it while we (hoped) to jump them Evel Knievel style. After that, we grabbed up skateboards and skated the riverbeds of Los Angeles which featured severe angles that you COULD NOT go straight down. With the riverbeds you either learned to slalom, or to bleed, your choice.

Sometimes we'd get cans and tap them together into what was called a "Canadian Goose Gun". This particular "toy" involved a squirt of lighter fluid and a tennis ball and/or paint roller and would really knock the wind out of you it if you took a direct hit.

Then it was time to make homemade parachutes, which were just a square piece of fabric, and four ropes. We'd spend an hour or two decorating the parachutes, then climb on the roof and jump off, never noticing that the parachutes always failed to slow our descent at all.

Later in the evening, we'd play mumblety-peg with really sharp knives, or a game we invented where you throw a screwdriver into the grass between each other's feet. That person then had to move one foot to the screwdriver, take his turn on you, then we'd continue to move our feet closer and closer until someone took a screwdriver to the toe

o wrap up the nights, if our parents were really tired of us, we'd play football in the street. Yes, we'd play football on the asphalt.

If you haven't figured out where I'm going here, I'm telling you we were tough kids. We were still not tough enough for a toy our parents actually GAVE US.  That toy was "clackers". The original "clackers" were made of resin balls, just a tiny bit smaller than pool balls.

Amazon.com
Amazon.com
loading...

The problem with clackers is...EVERYTHING.  Clackers could easily take out a tooth in record time. Clackers would leave you with enormous bruises on your arms, as well as actual broken arms. You could rack yourself in the junk. Your friend could try to use them as a bolo around your feet and whack you in the ankle, and, of course, they could shatter into a million pieces and get into your eyes.

There was a short period in which toy companies tried to make "safer clackers" but you know us, without the danger we weren't interested.  One more thing, if there's a kid you hate, you can still buy clackers here on Amazon.

Check out this kid whacking the snot out of his arm in slow motion:

Allsup's Has Hilarious Merch You Didn't Know You Absolutely Need

Here's a selection of some of my favorites from the Allsup's store, many of which are hilarious, adorable, and shall we say- craveable?

Would You Spend The Night In This Unique Texas Treehouse Loft?

I'm all about it...

More From 107-3 KISS-FM