I need a new couch. One of the legs on mine has broken so now it's doing a gangsta lean, as the kids say. In fact, it leans so badly, if you were to come over right now, you'd hear my couch singing its new theme song:

via GIPHY

Don't know about you, but I love finding free stuff when it's in great (or seemingly great) condition. Some things you can find on Craigslist and they'll be in relatively meager condition but still salvageable. If there's one thing I know about Craigslist (no matter the city), there's bound to be some jacked-up couches being given away for free.

I don't want a jacked-up couch, not even if it's for free.

via GIPHY

I often see things on Craigslist that make me wonder why someone didn't just heap that junk in a truck and dump it at the County dump! Hey, I'm all about upholstering cool furniture just like the next Flea Market Flip fan, but some things on Craigslist just cannot be saved.

I have never grabbed a FREE couch off Craigslist and after checking out the photos of what's floating around out there right now, I highly doubt I ever will.

Have you ever bought a sofa or a couch off of Craigslist? Maybe in a big city, you are sure to find ones that are close to mint condition, but out here in our neck of the woods, it's a dog-eat-the-dog kind of world (or the dog-ate-the-couch or the cat-scratched-the-couch kind of world, haha)!

When one buys furniture on Craigslist, isn't it a lot like playing a game of "roulette"? It's the sort of thing where you don't know if the furniture will be gunky and/or full of bed bugs or a diamond in the rough and a steal of a deal.

Here are the top five WORST free couches I saw that are available on Craigslist right now. I searched far and wide all over Texas to scout the best of the worst, and I was not disappointed. In my opinion, it is way past time for these things to get the old heave-ho. Buy 'em if you dare, but don't say I didn't warn you.

1.

"It is peeling so it needs to go." 

 

When did they discover it was peeling, yesterday? That thing looks like it's been peeling for DECADES. It's not peeling, it's DECAYED.

via Austin.Craigslist.org

2.

"Some water stains but no big damage..."

No big damage, huh? They might want to get their eyes double checked. This set of damaged goods needs to go 'head-on and then head to the back of a 1-800-JUNK truck. They got one thing right, though, I definitely don't notice a "cut in the side of the couch"!

via Austin.Craigslist.org

3.

"Red CHEETAH couch. First come, first served."

I would feel "cheetahed" if I got this couch for free. Free is too much money. It was lovely once upon a time when a Golden Age starlet was asking Mr. DeMille for her closeup. Throw the whole cheetah away. NEXT!

via Dallas.Craigslist.org

 

4.

"Peeling badly."

Wow, you don't say? I shudder to see why they are throwing the cloth along with the couch. This sofa looks like it's on its last dying breath. If COVID-19 was a couch, this would be it. Bless its little heart.

via Houston.Craigslist.org

 

 

5.

via Craigslist.org

"Rebildable?" Wait, are they trying to say this sofa a Transformer? Hmm, I sure hope this couch is at least a robot in disguise and comes with spell-check, because if not, lord help it! Miss me with that mess.

KEEP LOOKING: See What 50 of America's Most 'Pupular' Dog Breeds Look Like as Puppies